The Newsboys - Christian Rock

When I was visiting Texas a few weeks ago, Heidi and I realized that we had some very different tastes in music. I like rock, pop, some rap mixed in, not much country; she likes country, some pop, very little rock. We constantly switched radio stations to songs we both could stomach.

Well, I have become a fan of Christian rock. There have been a few songs over the years from my favorite artists that I've really loved, like some from Alison Krauss (God Dips His Pen and others), but I really like this band, The Newsboys.

Here are some links to their songs on Youtube:

Newsboys - In the Hands of God


Or this one:

Newsboys - He Reigns

Lovely Bones - Book Review

This was an amazing, gut-wrenching book. It's hard to recommend, because it follows the rape and murder of a 14-year-old girl and the grief that envelopes and threatens to unravel her family. I like that the book is told from the perspective of the girl who was killed, from "her heaven". As parent, it was horrifying reading, and I cried a lot.

While the book offers a stark, emotionally raw look at life through the lens of trauma and grief and tragedy, it also offers a thread of hope.

In the book, hope does not come from justice (justice does surface occasionally in the book, but there is also an arbitrariness about it which seems more true to life than anything else), or from the capture of the perpetrator, but from survival. Even the narrator still exists after her death. She watches over her family, occasionally inspiring them or being inspired by them but with no real power or ability to interact directly with them.

You absolutely feel her frustration, her inability to intervene, as her killer goes on with his life, lies to the police, expresses his sorrow to her family. And then he goes on to kill again.

The book was very well-written, and a captivating story. I read it in two days.

Principle Voices Website Updated

Months ago, the Principle Voices website changed servers and has been going through some changes. I've been slowly adding material to it again, most of which used to be there but somehow went missing when the leap from server to server occurred. Today, I found an old speech I gave at a rally in Salt Lake in 2001. Thought you might find it interesting:

Comments given by Mary Batchelor at the Religious Freedom Rally on the Utah Capitol steps

June 16, 2001

My name is Mary Batchelor. I consider myself an involuntary monogamist. I am currently married to a man I love and admire, and we hope to enter into plural marriage again in the future.

I am one of the co-authors of Voices in Harmony, Contemporary Women Celebrate Plural Marriage. Yes, I said “celebrate.” One hundred women responded to our request to join their voices to ours in writing this book, to let the world know that we love our husbands, we love our sister-wives, we love our children, and we love our polygnyous family arrangement.

Why? It is a deeply sacred part of our religion, so thoroughly permeating the foundation of our beliefs that without polygyny, the promises of our religion fall short. We believe that women can find independence, fulfillment, and even empowerment within polygyny.

I am here today because our families are being threatened. Our religious beliefs and choice of lifestyle have been ridiculed, villified, condemned and proclaimed criminal in a public campaign that has already led to a socially acceptable and openly hostile form of McCarthyism. Declarations that polygmy must be eradicated are akin to ethnic cleansing and are a direct violation of the civil rights of consenting adults to arrange their families as they see fit.

It is ironic that this is occurring in a state and country founded upon religious freedom.

Yet, in America, polygamists are not afforded the rights and protections of the First Amendment to the Constitution.

For us, and many other minorities, religious freedom has never been fully realized in America.

In order for all Americans to truly enjoy the freedom to practice our religion according to the dictates of our conscience, we must grant that same freedom to others, whether or not we agree with them or approve of their beliefs or actions. It doesn’t matter if we belong to a majority religion, a minority religion, or no religion at all, we must find a way to appreciate diversity of thought and opinion. Toleration means nothing if we only tolerate those people with whom we agree.

We applaud the state of Utah for welcoming the Dalai Lama, and ask, can we not offer that same kind of welcome and respect to those who live in our own backyards?

It should no longer be acceptable to violate the rights of polygamous people. It is time to revise oppressive laws, and remove archaic statutes from the books. It is not the place of government to dictate which religion is acceptable or not, neither is it the place of government to dictate to adults how they can arrange their families.

We want laws to protect our families, not oppress them. We want laws to protect our children, not deprive them. Polygamous families should not be forced to live in fear; unsure of how much they can reveal about themselves publicly, to their neighbors, teachers or doctors, for fear they might be turned in to law enforcement and charged with bigamy or unlawful cohabitation, for nothing more than living polygamously. Polygamous families should not be made to live in silence, suffering public ridicule and slander from those who want to impose their values upon the rest of society. Polygamous families should not be compelled to withdraw from society to protect themselves or their children from persecution, animosity and hatred. They should have equal access to public assistance in times of need, to adequate medical care for their children, to employment, housing and even recreation, like any other family.

We are not asking for special treatment. On the contrary, we are asking for equal treatment.

The majority of polygamists do not commit incest, welfare fraud or other offenses. The majority of polygamists are law-abiding, industrious people who are not criminals, but loving spouses and parents. We are entitled to be treated as such.

In closing, I offer the words of Distinguished Professor of Psychology, Irwin Altman, of the University of Utah, and Professor of Social and Cultural Anthropology, Joseph Ginat, of the University of Haifa, in Israel, from their book, Polygamous Families in Contemporary Society, p. 444:

“In spite of the problems they face, some of these new forms of close relationships — including plural families among contemporary Mormon fundamentalists — are here to stay in American and Western society. They are not likely to ‘go away’; they are not fads or fancies; they are not aberrations. They will be part of the family life scene well into the future.

“We must therefore learn about them, learn from them, and even help people live the lifestyle of their choice. Doing so increases the probability that participants in emerging forms of close relationships will contribute to the well-being and equality of life in American society at large. Not doing so, and viewing these family lifestyles as inherently immoral, wrong, and unacceptable, increases the probability that American society will fragment, with a declining sense of community and civility in our public and private lives.”

Sunstone Symposium 2009 - Call for Papers

The theme for 2009's Sunstone Symposium in Salt Lake City is: Zion’s Sisterhood: Celebrating Mormon Women’s Contributions to Church & Culture

Mark your calendars. The symposium will be held August 12-16. For more info, go to this link.

Everyone's Talking about Susan Boyle

While everyone's talking about Susan Boyle, and justifiably so, I thought I'd throw up some of my favorite musical pieces. Great singers, phenomenal performances:

Linda Ronstadt & Rex Smith, singing 'Poor Wandering One', from Pirates of Penzance:


Patti LuPone singing 'Don't Cry for Me, Argentina':


Les Miserables - 10th Anniversary - 'One Day More' (I LOVE THIS SONG!):


'Phantom of the Opera' and 'Music of the Night' at the 1988 Tony Awards; Sarah Brightman & Michael Crawford live:


'All I ask of You' with Sarah Brightman and Cliff Richards, live:


Donny Osmond in 'Close Every Door to Me' from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat:


'Wouldn't It be Loverly' by Julie Andrews from My Fair Lady:


Anything from the Sound of Music. Although I love the original, this is a sweet version of Eidelweiss by Julie Andrews and John Denver that I found while searching:


I really enjoy musicals, and many of the songs from the musicals above are among my favorites; it's hard to leave any out, but silly to put every last one in. I need to give a shout-out to TXBluesMan blogger for posting Susan Boyle's performance along with some other live performers (including Patti LuPone) singing the same song on his blog. I spent an hour listening to my favorite songs from musicals on Youtube this morning which was a real treat.

Exercise & "17 Again"

40 minutes today divided between the elliptical & the Health Rider, then did some weight training and squats. I have a women's retreat on the last weekend in June, so I'm shooting to really maintain my exercise and diet with that date as a goal. I just want to be in good physical shape, and if I drop another size all the better. Honestly, muscle wears better on the bod than fat, so it's all good. Brand new bathing suit, here I come!

I took some of my kids to see '17 Again' with Zac Efron. We all liked it. It started slow but picked up after Zac came into the picture.

I have to say that Zac Efron is genuinely, absolutely, good looking. My girls say he is "delicious."

The thing is, even my mom agrees that he is a cutie. He has that cross-over appeal, apparently, that draws the young and the old alike. In this movie, he plays a man in the middle of a divorce, who becomes 17 again (and turns into Zac Efron). As a 17 year old, he gets to know his children in a way that awakens in him a realization that he has been an absent husband and father. He meets his wife as the teenage friend of his son, and slips into comfortable interaction with her that feels normal to him but freaks her out (as an adult woman interacting with a teenage boy). Zac carries off the older woman/young man love interest, at one point dancing with her and picking her up and swinging her around.

There are some funny parts in the movie and even though there are a couple of adult comments/moments, the over-arching theme of the movie is positive, family- and marriage- friendly.

What an Awesome Post! -

Check out Naiahdot blog, and this rather interesting post: What ever happened to the woman who used to write here?

Legislative Hearing (TX) Tomorrow, One FLDS Representative to Testify

San Angelo's Paul Anthony is reporting that a representative of the FLDS will be one of three people who will testify in front of the Senate Health and Human Services Committee at a hearing on Tuesday to address the raid, and Representative Hilderbran will testify on his House bill 4255. The bill "would ease DFPS' ability to remove children from an allegedly abusive situation by removing a requirement that the agency make 'reasonable efforts' to eliminate the need to remove a child, and also would allow investigators more leeway to remove parents from a home instead of the children."

Unlike last year's April 30 fiasco where "then-Department of Family and Protective Services Commissioner Carey Cockerell gave his now-infamous briefing to the Senate Health and Human Services Committee", this hearing will actually permit testimony from a representative of the FLDS.

On that last occasion, Cockerell apparently "took no questions and after which the most attention-grabbing of his claims - that 41 children from the compound showed evidence of broken bones - was quickly discredited as being well within the norm for any similar-sized group of children."

It seems some lessons were learned in the last year. There are horrible consequences when truth is sacrificed to expediency, or, heaven forbid, bias. Those consequences reach beyond department heads "retiring" as Cockerell later did, particularly when the safety of children is a primary concern.

Hopefully, a more accurate picture can finally be presented to this committee.

Anthony writes: "It's the first time since the sect moved to Texas in 2003 that it will confront a Legislature that has raised the state's legal marriage age in response to its presence and is considering more action this session as a result of the complications born from last year's raid."

It's about time. The FLDS ARE a part of Texas now. The YFZ residents are Texans, and apparently they are staying put.

Clever V alliteration in speech from V for Vendetta

One of my favorite pieces of dialogue from a movie is the V speech from the movie, V for Vendetta. I often tell fellow creative writers, poets, and English lovers everywhere about that movie and its symbolism. There are communication theories in practice throughout the movie; it was a dream for my communications class!

Here it is on youtube:

The speech actually comes through clearer in this first video, which is just the speech with the words crossing the screen, plus it is longer than the movie snippet below:



Actual scene from the movie:




Enjoy.

Changing Seasons - Fidelity in Marriage - Life's Revelations

I am not able to blog the way I used to. Initially, I had wanted this blog to be a place where I could really share my thoughts about polygamy, my family, my questions, my values, even my doubts.

Too often, though, people get offended at something I write and it injures my ability to do my job with Principle Voices.

I used to maintain an extensive journal and in the last few years this blog has taken its place. I'm not 100% comfortable with that because this blog went from being anonymous to being public, and more and more I am not feeling as free as I used to to really be vulnerable and open with my feelings.

I have toyed with closing my blog to family & close friends only, but then I figure I would probably just dump it altogether and do something different. I have also come close to deleting the blog, but I don't want to lose everything I've posted over the last several years, much of which really should have gone into my journal and hasn't.

I love stimulating dialogue, intelligent persuasion, but I detest arguing for argument's sake, right-fighting, name-calling, and leaps of the imagination into the ridiculous. I like dialogue that is taking me somewhere reasonable, that explores differences and similarities while respecting different "come-froms". I mean, I want to discuss another person's faith and ask questions and explore my own feelings about it without feeling that if I don't change my faith by the time the conversation is over then I'm either somehow defective or I've insulted someone.

I do believe that it is healthy to examine opposing views, to sometimes step into other people's shoes and even debate on behalf of opinions you might not personally embrace so that you can at least understand them, and sometimes broaden your worldview.

I used to debate in high-school. I did policy and Lincoln Douglas (value) debate. We had to be able to debate both the pro and the con of a particular topic. We had some latitude, not a lot, but some, to work within a particular topic, but we still had to be able to argue both sides.

I can see the pros and cons of polygamy. I see the things that are challenging for people who try to live it, and how some families overcome those challenges and make it work for them, and how other families struggle and don't have as much success.

There are so many different personalities and styles and ideas, and how they interact and blend into different families are going to play out in a variety of ways in their marriages, parenting, upbringing, etc.

I believe that LOVE is meaningful in marriage. I wouldn't want to be married without it. I wouldn't be able to give myself to someone emotionally or physically without it. I also believe commitment and fidelity is important. They are, to me, as important as love.

At different times in my teen and young adult years, I weighed out these values with each other. Which ones were more important than others? Was I willing to sacrifice love for a decent guy who would be strong in his religious values and beliefs and be a faithful husband and devoted father? Was I willing to sacrifice a marriage commitment for love? Would I be happier waiting on marriage altogether and pursuing college and a career first? Could I do that and still maintain my personal commitment to "marriage" and sexual abstinence (while single)?

As you weigh out your values, the strongest ones intersect with each other to support the decisions you make.

I was not willing to sacrifice commitment, fidelity or love. I wanted them all. It wasn't enough for me to give myself to someone simply because he pledged his love to me. I wanted more of a commitment than a pledge of the heart. I wasn't willing to give my body without a commitment of fidelity and inter-dependence.

People often ask me how can a man who has a propensity to love more than one woman remain faithful to one? Well, I think we all have the capacity to love more than one person, people do it all the time. We choose to create boundaries for ourselves and use restraint, or we don't have any. Any person who commits to another human being in marriage, and makes a commitment of fidelity, is electing to close the door on future potential emotional or physical partners. It is a choice and an exercise in restraint in exchange for a benefit: a life joined with another person to move as "one" in shared goals, hopes and dreams.

It is in many ways a contract. Many times people don't recognize all the unspoken beliefs and expectations that go along with that contract. In my contract, I do expect fidelity, but I am open to polygyny, that is the prospect of another woman entering our lives and potentially joining our family. I am not open to my husband dating, sneaking around behind my back, scoping out candidates, sleeping around.

It makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever that Bill Paxton's character on Big Love would not be able to restrain himself from sleeping with Ana while they are "courting". Some men, however, do not have the moral character or personal restraint to conduct themselves honorably in their wife's or wives' absence, and do cross the fidelity line (some women do that, too!). Many monogamous marriages fail as a result of infidelity. Some men who are drawn to polygamy suffer from these same moral or character lapses. Maybe they think polygamy will solve their propensity to cheat on their wives? Maybe they think their inability to remain faithful to their monogamous wives can be explained away by an acceptance of polygamy? Unfortunately, that is not the case. Men who are unfaithful in monogamy are not likely to be faithful to more than one wife.

Further, any woman who thinks it is okay to cheat with a married man, better beware, because she's basically given that man her permission/consent to cheat on her, too. Whether she says it in words or not, she has said it in her actions.

I did not even kiss my husband before we were married, out of respect for his wife.

When I was a teenager, I had a handful of friends who were independent fundamentalist Mormons. One friend had very opinionated grandparents who kept trying to set up their grandkids with other kids in the same faith.

I remember really being put off by that. No WAY, no how, was anyone going to tell me who to marry. If I am going to make a life-long commitment with someone, have children with that person, give my heart and my body to that person, then I sure as anything was going to choose that person for myself!!!

I didn't have anything to worry about on that score. My parents firmly instilled a strong sense of independence and freedom of self-direction in us kids. They were there to guide us and counsel with us and help us make healthy choices for ourselves, but not to tell us who to marry or what college to attend or what career to pursue.

In the Bible, there were arranged marriages and some people married young and others married family members. My understanding of Hebrew tradition is that girls were always able to say "no" to a prospective groom even though the dowry and marriage matters were mediated by a father and the groom's family. She had the right to say NO. Also, a girl would have a certain portion of dowry that belonged only to her and did not go to her husband. It was for her protection, which I think afforded some, however small, measure of independence.

I don't write this blog to offend people. I don't think it's my fault if someone gets offended by something I write, either.

I may or may not keep writing. I've been threatened and my family has been threatened. I can be a mama bear when it comes to threatening my children. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is more important than the safety and well-being of my family.

Thank you to all of you who write me with respect and share your opinions with me, even when you take me to task or disagree with me. I have enjoyed the interaction.

Headed to a Christian Church this Morning, Happy Easter!

Some of the sweetest testimonies of Jesus Christ that I've heard have come from my Christian friends. I love their focus on the savior in their personal lives and on service to others. Because of this, I thought it would be a nice way to spend Easter by taking my teens to a non-denominational Christian church service.

I have attended one a few times over the last two years, the first time when my sister-in-law, who is active LDS, invited my teen daughters to go "church-hopping" on conference weekend. I had never heard of that but I wanted to go, too!

We went to a community church in Daybreak and were embarrassed to find ourselves the only ones dressed like LDS Church attendees. You do not have to wear dress clothes when you attend these churches. They are casual dress, which is actually quite relaxing. It is really difficult to get a large family ready in the morning for picture day and dress occasions, so I appreciate the casual dress.

We've been having a discussion with our friends about the different denominations. I have not really understood the differences, particularly between evangelical and Anglican, but I'm working on it. Even though they have differences, they recognize each other as "Christian" because they share a common belief in several things, one being the trinity. I consider myself Christian because I accept Jesus Christ as my savior. "Mormons" believe in Jesus Christ and the atonement, but not in trinity. We do believe in the "Godhead", which is the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost as three separate entities. There are many other differences, as I am learning, but the trinity, and grace v. works are apparently at the heart of the "Are Mormons Christian" argument? I think it's fascinating.

My little daughters are excited about Easter, but more about getting candy and having a holiday. We had a family party yesterday and socialized, hid bags of candy-filled eggs in the backyard for the younger kids, then had to hide the older girls' bags, too, because they felt left out. My sister hid them very well; it took the girls forever to find their bags! They got some $ from grandma and grandpa, so they hatched a plan with their cousin who lives close by to see the new Hannah Montana movie with their loot. They liked the movie; one of my daughters has now seen it twice and plans to see it again. I thought Hannah only held appeal with my daughter Holly, but now my 4-year-old Vivi is flipped over her, and I guess the teens are Miley Cyrus's age, so...

There were some very happy Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus fans in Utah Friday when the popstar/actress and her dad Billy Ray popped in for a surprise visit at a Utah matinee screening of her new movie. The screening was held at the theater at The District, which is not too far from where I live. We go there occasionally, but mostly we try to see first run movies at the Carmike Theater on Redwood Road where prices are $4 per person matinee and $6 or $6.50 in the evenings (that's $1.50 cheaper than everywhere else), and if you buy a bucket of popcorn, you can refill it every time you come for only 50 cents. It's a lot cheaper for a large family on a budget! Or, we go to the Sandy Movies dollar theater, where every ticket is $1.50 for matinees or $2.00 for evening showings, with special rates for Mondays or whatever. Some movies I don't mind waiting for, and just aren't worth paying more than that!

Trip to Texas - Visit to Fort Concho

I hardly want to share it on my blog because I feel it was such a sober, healing time, an opportunity for the families to walk through Fort Concho and spend Friday and Saturday with their loved ones from other states. Heidi and I felt honored to be invited and included.

It started with some words from Willie, then a video of raid pictures and false allegations that were made, then they showed family pictures and videos of FLDS families playing with their children.

They had a Catholic Bishop speak about healing and coming together. We were invited to say a few words, too.

The families are getting to know us better and are comfortable with taking pictures with us; once you get to know them, they are funny and teasing and not as reserved as they seem on TV. As they are becoming more comfortable, they are more casual, too. They told jokes, and presented cowboy poetry. REALLY! They had a young man stand up and present one of his own poems and it was very good, and entertaining! Then he presented a five minute, multi-stanza poem he'd memorized but didn't write and it was impressive!

We left San Angelo late on Saturday because it was so hard to say goodbye to everyone. We ended up racing back to San Antonio and made it to our plane with about 17 minutes to spare!

I Believe

I believe in God.
I believe in love.
I believe in marriage.
I believe in family.
I believe in keeping promises.
I believe in morality.
I believe in fairness.
I believe in justice.
I believe in mercy.
I believe in charity.
I believe in forgiveness.
I believe in repentance.
I believe in atonement.
I believe in humility.
I believe in joy.
I believe in faith.
I believe in sacrifice.
I believe in freedom.
I believe in responsibility.
I believe in accountability.
I believe in loyalty.
I believe in friendship.
I believe in romance.
I believe in sisterhood/brotherhood.
I believe in parents.
I believe in unity.
I believe in harmony.
I believe in music.
I believe in worship.
I believe in decency.
I believe in sympathy.
I believe in compassion.
I believe in understanding.
I believe in education.
I believe in communication.
I believe in service.
I believe in commitment.
I believe in intelligence.
I believe in creativity.
I believe in inquiry.
I believe in respect.
I believe in honesty.
I believe in integrity.
I believe in equity.
I believe in frailty.
I believe in humanity.
I believe in divinity.
I believe in beauty.
I believe in nature.
I believe in life.
I believe in me.

Heading to Texas ~

I am honored to be invited to spend some time with the ranch families, particularly at the 1st year mark of the raid. I will bring a camera and this time I will post some pics from the visit. I will be careful about respecting privacy, because frankly, it's so precious and too often we take it for granted.

As for the Oprah show, I think it was a respectfully done. Oprah did a good job, asking questions and responding with warmth rather than judgment, though clearly she looked as if she didn't really "get it" when she got the answers.

Obviously the explanations of their lives given by ranch members make perfect sense to them, but still might fly over the heads of the American public for whom communal living, polygamy, full body dresses and long-braided hair are either strange or old-fashioned seeming.

I have to laugh when I think of how people wrangle over the FLDS hairstyles. Don't people remember the big hair of the 80s, with bangs sticking straight up or feathered all over? Have we forgotten the mohawk? What about the boxy plaid jackets & jeannie pants?

Styles go in and out and we all look back and see ourselves in those old fads and either gasp or have a good laugh. Why? Because at the time they seemed so cool and chic and now they're just plain embarrassing. In other words, the "majority" pretty much determines what is in style or what is a new fad, and the rest conform in varying degrees. Why do we need our way to be better than what the FLDs have determined is appropriate for them?

The children are SO CUTE! I really liked the segment with the teens in particular. they seemed more comfortable than the adults, but teens generally are more outspoken anywhere, aren't they?

April Fools Day

My doctor brother is celebrating his birthday today. When my mother was in labor with him at the hospital, my dad called the grandparents several times announcing the birth, each time with a different gender, etc., only to dash it all with "April Fools".

Happy birthday, bro!